Navelgazery

In which I get all deep, a bit self-centred and occasionally bonkers

TUESDAY MUSEDAY

Sometimes I feel inspired by pretty much everything. This sounds like good news but actually I am so filled with ideas that I can’t focus on any one thing for long enough to achieve anything at all. It’s like when you go to the supermarket on an empty stomach and leave with a bag of rice crackers and an onion. Or like when your youngest child starts full time school […]

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SELFISH NARROW MINDED PEOPLE SHIT ME. SO DOES MS.

This morning I overheard a conversation that has been troubling me all day. It went something like this (with made up names): Jill: Will you do the MS Mud Dash with me? Wendy: Nope Jill: Why not? Wendy: Do you really want me to tell you? (doesn’t wait for an answer to this question) Because Susan Smith has MS and I wouldn’t bloody support her. Jill: But what about all the other […]

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TELL THEM WELL

I have just lost my grandmother. Already I hear her voice scoffing at my euphemism: “You didn’t lose me darling, I was right there, you couldn’t have lost me. I didn’t get lost or slip away or pass on. I just died, that’s all. I died.” That was her; always so tell-it-how-it-is-you-look-tired-darling-and-your-eyebrows-need-work. But she is lost to me. It is a huge loss. I have had her for nearly forty […]

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HOMESICK

I’ve been in a semi-homesick state for a few months now, which is dumb, because I am home most of the time. But in what I guess is the pit of my stomach, mixing it up with various enzymes and comistibles, is a tightly tangled ball something I can best describe as homesickness. Or maybe wistfulness? Nostalgia? Homewistalgia? I don’t need a psychotherapist to tell me the reasons why – […]

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MISERABLE

I am BLOODY ITCHY. I have hives all over my back, tummy, arms, neck, cheeks and bum which make me want to tear my wretched skin off, toss it in the trash and just get on with my life without it. Sure I’d be slightly scary looking and fall prey to the nearest infection but right now ANYTHING WOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS FUCKING ITCH. I know there are probably […]

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Shack School

Ah January, you’re a funny old bugger. I find your laconic, childful ways rather frustrating at times. I do love my activity and my routine, that’s just how I am, so when I’m one day sitting down to a long lunch and the next day lugging gas bottles in my nightie, I’m very often having to take a deep breath and remind myself to practice ‘radical acceptance’ (look it up, it’s […]

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MERRY EFFING CHRISTMAS

I’m trying so hard not to overthink Christmas and just enjoy the tradition and cheer. But it’s like when I’m listening to rain on an iron roof and trying my best to enjoy it because everyone bangs on about how lovely rain on the roof is when really I’m worrying for all the people who don’t have a roof, and the cows and horses and sheep all out in the […]

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MOVING ON

Hello! It’s me, bursting through the surface of a slightly murky pond and taking some deep, vital, life affirming breaths: Holy sweet moly it’s good to see you here on the lovely other side of a slightly traumatic, near drowning-in-chaos event. That sounds dramatic but when the contents of one’s house is being carted up the road by a booze of year twelve leavers in a cloud of dust, there […]

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Things That Get Me Through

I am living through possibly the busiest time of my life. We’re about to move out of one house (and leave it in a civilized state) whilst trying to finish another house that we’ve built to move into, it’s nearing Christmas which brings social occasions, obligations, cards, shopping and general panic. I have deadlines to meet and two end of year concerts to prep for and get to. And this on […]

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WEDNESDAY WONDERINGS

Random thoughts from today… The Chinese President Visits Tasmania Never mind that the Tasmanian Weather’s multiple personality disorder was in full force yesterday when today it was all, “Look at me, I’m so gorgeous”, it was a brilliant day for our little Island. Chinese President Xi Jinping and his rockstar wife Madam Peng Liyuan popped in for a short visit. They had lunch, planted a tree, patted some devils, met […]

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