Well here I am at the end of a busy week which involved driving a lot, sitting about at children’s activities and trying to get out of cooking. Nothing unusual (I am an expert in How Not To Cook and will likely one day publish a cook book about it. It will be beautiful to look at and lovely to hold, but shunned by foodies the world over. It will be guaranteed to reduce: washing up, complaints from small bogans, time and effort. Who’s in?).
I lost a friend this week too. I didn’t see him anymore, but he was part of my life once; he was dear and far too Young. The world was better with him in it and I mean that, it’s not just eulogy bollocks. Fate or whatever it is that took him got it really, stupidly wrong. Rest up for the next ride DJY. xxx
So, I’m having a gin and tonic with dear old Friday, those two are such lovely companions…
“Hello Friday m’dear”
“Hello Gin, it’s been too long. And hello Meg, how lovely to see you. Relax and try not to think about sad things and what might be lurking in schoolbags and whether someone can spell ‘said’ and if it will rain on the washing. Fuck all that bullshit, sit back and make the most of us.”
“Well alrighty then my old friends, that I will,” says I, sip-sip, sit-sit.
And I start thinking to myself – because small bogans are in front of the telly (zero fucks) and husband is at the pub (love the pub on occasions) – about nothing very much. Things like:
- Mark Wahlberg is a very good actor (The Gambler is on telly). Imagine if he’d stayed with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch – what a waste that would have been.
- It’s very interesting to hear that a speech expert has declared that the Australian accent is derived from the drunken speech of the early settlers, who were drinking in excess to ease the discomfort of a new and terrifying frontier. Go us, classy buggers all the way.
- Showbags are the very epitome of horrible consumerist greed. Worse than buffets. I know I’m The Grinch but showbags, I have come to understand, were originally meant to be a mere sample of the exhibits on show at the show. And they were free. These days, you will pay up to $40 for a bag of crap. The bags will falsely claim to contain items valued far above the cost of the bag, but this doesn’t really bother me. What bothers me is that people will buy such enormous amounts of sugar and/or synthetics, of which 100% of it will either rot teeth or add to landfill. There are only two silver linings to showbags – 1) the children will fleetingly (pre-sugar low) think I’m awesome and 2) I really like my dentist and she will likely get some business out of those evil sacs of shit.
- You can get dairy free coconut frozen yogurt and IT IS VERY BLOODY EXCELLENT. Dear coconut frozen yogurt, I nearly love you as much as Fridays and gin, I’ll be back. Love, Meg
- I saw a lovely vintage apron today and have decided, in between being bohemian and getting about in my active wear, I would like to wear house dresses, aprons and gumboots. Think how much washing we’d save, how comfortable we’d be. And we’d have those enormous pockets for our mobile phones. That’s it, I’m bringing back the house dress.
- We don’t have trick or treat here in our neighbourhood because you’re more likely to hear a bull’s roar than find a house within it. So tomorrow night, we’re going to play Murder In the Dark and eat pumpkin scones. Will that do or am I being a grinch again? Pumpkin soup? A midnight visit to the graveyard and some ghost stories? Apple bobbing and a seance? My 5 year old thinks it’s called Holler-ween anyway, so maybe we’ll just eat saveloys and yell a lot.
And that’s about it for today. I’m going to bed with a very good book. It’s called “The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window and Disappeared”, which reminds me, my friend Kel’s dear Granny, Dulcie just turned 100. How truly amazing. Happy Birthday Dulcie. xxx
Goodnight Friday, goodnight gin. And goodnight all, sleep well, make the most. Life can be short, and even if it’s long, it’s still pretty short.