THE LITTLE PICTURES

Sonia Kruger said it, we’re all afraid. There are really horrific, crappy things happening all over the world every day. Terrorism, domestic violence, brainwashing, racism, intolerance, animal cruelty, child neglect, elder abuse, sexism, Donald Trump. And so on. She also said some other stuff that I’m not going to repeat here because it is not kind, not kind at all. And kind is what we need to be. In fact […]

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RESTAURANT REVIEW – Pizza Hut

So maybe you thought Pizza Hut had disappeared with Roxette and 1927 (the band, not the year). Well it didn’t. My local Pizza Hut has been in the same spot, wearing the same 80s red brick outfit and opening the same doors ever since I was wearing a ra-ra skirt with a wide elastic belt. Back then, the highlight for me was the great big swinging plastic balls of ginger […]

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Sue the Cow, a Song

While the boys were out we wrote a song. Actually we wrote two songs. One is called “My Dog Is Like A Unicorn” and was mostly written by Bess. This one is called, “Sue The Cow”. I didn’t mean for this to become a protest post of any sort, nor did we set out to write a profoundly moooving activist song, but in light of the dairy crisis and our contracted […]

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Contains Curmudgeonly Rant

cheshire

I am worried. I mean I’m always slightly worried, because I’m a mother and worrying is my job. But lately there’s been greater cause for concern and worry. I hate to worry. It seems pointless because the things I worry about are invariably things I can do nothing about and because it ages my brow only further (this is not something I classify as a worry, more a vanity, which […]

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I HAD A TANTRUM

MIKEY WILSON

I had a tantrum. A tantrum, as defined by the Oxford dictionary, is “an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child”. Since I last wrote I have turned 39 so I am not a young child, but still, the rest of that definition sounds like what I had. Or rather, what happened to me, because I don’t think it was a voluntary response. Like a wee […]

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The Not Busy Day

rowan

I’ve been a bit busy lately, which is why I’ve also been a bit quiet on the megoracle front. Today, however, has been a very rare not-busy day. The stars aligned – in the form of school runs taken care of and work balls in other courts – to send me down the unexpected delight of a not busy day. They are unusual things, these not-busy days, in a busy […]

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TALK ABOUT THE RAIN

20150515_094001

I want to talk about the rain. Everyone is talking about the rain here in Tasmania, so a little more talk about it is neither here nor there. This is what we do during a drought – when there is not enough grass for our cows to eat, or water for our gardens to thrive, or enough dam capacity for our lightbulbs to burn all night for small children to […]

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THE HANGOVER (with kids)

Brrrrrrrrrpppphhhhh

So yesterday I had a hangover. Naturally I am now a sworn convert to clean living in which my body is a serious temple into which I will pour only substances of the highest nutrient value. Such as avocado juice and dried cricket powder and such. I mean if I can pour vanilla flavoured ethyl alcohol down my greedy gullet until I wiggle my bottom to “Shaking that ass” then […]

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Miss Cellaneous Goes To Town

empty_flying_trapeze

Thursday is my town day. This is when we country folk put on our town uniform, write out to-do list and hit the big smoke. I have the hours between 9:15 and 2:15 precisely to get my town shit done. Here’s what my usual Thursday looks like: Meet friend for brisk walk and extended week’s worth of debriefery. Pause debrief for the steep bits where I have to just worry about […]

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CLEANING DAY

snails

Yesterday was cleaning day. This is when I don’t rest or leave the house until its surfaces are gleaming, there’s no bullshit on the benches (forms, junk mail, half-finished craft) and no nerf bullets in the pantry. It happens at least once a fortnight. I dread it and I am always ready to resent it, declare it against my feminist beliefs, but really it’s just another job that has to be […]

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