“…the motherhood constellation is a mental organisation in which the child is most prominent…(also)…referred to as “primary maternal preoccupation.” – Winnicot, 1965; Stern 1995.
So there is a name for the totally mental disorganisation that is my brain after giving birth to and becoming full time mother to 3 children under 4 – The Motherhood Constellation (I am sorry Dads and stand-in grandparents that you have been excluded in the label – but here at Megoracle, consider yourselves well and truly in). My preoccupation with pram models, mushed up vegetables and bottom spots (theirs not mine – haven’t looked at my bare bottom in years) and my jittery-rush-rush anxiety when I am without my children has been officially labelled. And what’s more, it’s been afforded a noble function – to see our infants develop effectively and normally. So it seems my inability to hold a decent conversation for the last 5-ish years of my life will help my children turn into fine young specimens. Maybe it will negate the bad effects of being horribly drunk early in the first trimester when I had no idea there was a teeny person inside.
Anyway, my youngest is almost 2 and I’ve had about enough. My brain needs a total reboot. And here’s the exciting bit – the experience of motherly/parental love has proven (yes, by brainy scientists again) to actually make my brain grow larger. A study has found, “growth in midbrain regions involved with the experience of pleasure and in the prefrontal cortex, which is linked to reasoning, planning and judgment” (Time Magazine, 2010). Well I don’t know about the planning and judgment bit, but I’ll run with the big brain bit, even if there wasn’t all that much pleasure involved with morning sickness, shitting three house bricks and never sleeping.
So I repeat, my (big) brain needs a total reboot. I have had a niggly feeling that there are important things piling up in the newspaper basket only to be finger painted on or scrunched and burnt in the fire. But I have had neither time nor inclination to wade through complicated reportage with no context. I need my news with context you see, because I’ve missed the beginning of most important happenings that are shaping our history. And I need both context and news to be as digestible as the trash I’ve readily consumed of late. So I will do the research, unearth the beginnings of the big stories and find the context of today’s news, then re-write it in the language I am most comfortable with (which is the best way for me to retain it). I will then post it all here in case there are other contextually-challenged and large brained people out there.
And if anyone comes to visit, I’ll risk looking like a complete dumb fuck but you can sneakily read my context and puff yourselves up with superior “I knew that”-ness or with knowledge they didn’t have before.
So come along, have some contextual intercourse with me, I am your Oracle (wise and important cousel, with a Meg added because I am not very wise, swear too much and only important to a small few). Megoracle.
And here’s some things about me:
1) Who are you?
Meg Ashton Bignell (nee Warner, no relation of The Bros)
2) Where do you live?
On a dairy farm in Bream Creek – a very lovely green patch on the Eastern Edge of Tasmania (which is an Island at the bottom of Australia).
3) Who do you live there with?
My husband and my three children (5 year old hooligan twins and almost 2 year old tot who bites), plus a large herd of cows and some sheep but I rarely talk to them.
4) How old are you?
That is a very rude question. Somewhere around 35.
5) What do you do?
Another rather rude question (she says defensively because actually she doesn’t do much other than grumble about being a mother, cooker and cleaner and prance and dilly about in spare time being an actor and writer which really does no one any good does it?). I do all the things that come with mothering, wifing and keeping myself passionate.
6) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Sensible, useful, happy and able to fly.
7) What are some of your favourite things? (in no particular order)
Salt water, ice cream, big cars, sun, gardens, words, hugs, books, films, family, alone time, ball dresses, champagne, daphne, violets, clean sheets, fart jokes and musicals.
8 ) What are your least favourite things? (in no particular order)
Recorder music, bull fighting, pate, smelly car interiors, hession, maroon, contrivance, maths, putting ‘look’ in front of statements, hyper-materialism, hairdressers who don’t know when to be shut up, when children are sick, pimples and my toes.
9) What are your favourite swear words? (in order)
Fuck, shit, damn, poop, bollocks, bum, balls, crap, cockhead and nuts.
I think that’ll do. You will see more of me in the silly bits of writing I add to this website, just because I do lots of silly bits of writing and I might as well share some.
Here’s what I look like (when I’m smiling at the floor):
Hi Meg, saw this through Nic’s facebook site, It’s Jane Pitt (that was) here. Love your blog, I think I will very much enjoy sharing the ride with you, thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning!
Thanks Jane! Great to hear from you, and welcome!
I love your blogs, they were great
I love it already bec xx
Haahaaaaaaaaa!! Go meggy Moo
Hi Meg, hmmmm such is my life…..I hate book week, it gets much worse and I still have 3 to get to school….. Liv Turner (nee Bence)
I am in! I am looking forward to catching up on news other than what’s in the Flea Market on a monday morning!
So nice to hear about the other side of book week Meg, so can feel it!
I’ve recovered now Jo, and will be fully prepared for next year! x
At least you have the funny side of you
Luke
Re number 6… don’t grow up, it’s much the best!
Re number 9… what about ‘twat’… shouldn’t that be somewhere on your list?
Looking forward to reading more of your blog!
Twat! Of course, thanks for reminding me of that little gem Lois.
oh my gosh I love your blog, my brain has gone from motherhood mash to menopause mush, I’m sure there must have been some time in between, when I felt like I had an intelligent brain
, at the moment it is just a past memory 
, will look forward to reading everything on your blog:)
Thanks Annette! x
I smiled, laughed & connected, then tears rolled! WOW!!!!… I have NEVER seen such a clever piece of work, I have sent it around the world. This needs to go global. What talent!
Oh thanks Lynley – means a lot coming from someone who always makes me laugh! xx
Your blogs are hilarious! x
Hi there,
, and I am glad the world is the same over for us Mums!! The only difference is you live somewhere my husband would love to live and I can fly! Shall post the song on to all my Angry Mum friends in the UK and look forward to more blogs! Thanks for making my day!! 
A male Australian friend saw your Angry song, thought of me and emailed it to me here in the UK, oh how I’ve been there with 3 boys!! So my morning (now the kids are back at school) has been totally interrupted by reading your blog
Oh I can’t tell you how much it warms my heart to know there are others out there like me – all over the world1 Thank you. Meg
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OMG – I just want to rush to Tasmania to meet you!! That is about the funniest summary of my life I have ever heard. Thank you for putting it to music. I might just ask my choir, The Mammas and The Mammas, to sing it for a laugh. I too have twins and I hate to tell you but mine are 9 and still biting each other! I was going to tell you my favourite parts of the song but honestly every bit is perfect. I have sent your song to my sisters in Canada – hope you don’t mind. Cheers
Cath
Meg-
I was fixing the listing for your late great-uncle, Denis Ashton Warner, on goodreads.com this evening, and when I google-searched his name, the obituaries started popping up, and then your blog… I am truly saddened to hear of his passing. One of the first books I ever bought, in 1977 or so, was ‘The Last Confucian’, and he has been one of my heroes ever since then. For my money, he was not just the best Australian reporter of his generation, but the best ever.
As I scrolled down this page, I noticed your post on Rodriguez, who lived down the street from me for most of the last 20 years- those of us in Detroit’s Cass Corridor neighborhood never knew he was missing! It’s a strange old world, isn’t it?
Liam
Liam how great to hear from you. Thank you for your kind words re Denis. It is a great loss to the world but he lived such an amazing and long life. He was almost blind when he dies and no longer able to write. And how incredible about Rodriguez. I am fascinated by his story and in love with his music. I am having visions of you grooving away in your street to his music…wayward I am sure. Thanks again, Meg
hey Megsie….its Kate and Smellie from the Emergency Department L.G.H you are just the most amazing tart ever, sheer brilliance and bloody funny to boot all the best to you and yours and hope to catch up one of these days xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Awwww you girls. No one is as amazing as nurses, trust me I know. I was out after seven years and look at you go! You are the brilliant ones. Tarts though. xxxxxxxxxxx
Meg,
I am another Meg. Your potted history in the Mercury sounds very much like mine, right down to the tendency to throw things and explode ( usually when provoked by my 3 kids, all under 7) and the eating disorder ( as well as annoyance at the amount of my life it wasted at the time). I work and spend time with the little people and feel guilty about both.
Love your blog, keep up the inspiring work!
Hi Meg, thank you for the message – quite amazing. I knew my Mum should have called me Gloria. Glad I’m not the only one to throw things on occasions. x
Hi Meg,
Love the blog and ‘the Angry song’ it rocks, so funny and so true. Argh!! It’s my life in a nutshell and it’s frightening. Gosh I try hard to be a great mum it’s a big job and it is exhausting. Yes I totally pop some days. Thanks and big smiles from me. I am glad to know others feel overwhelmed to say the least!
Thank you Sarah. Equally, it is comforting to me to know there are others out there like me. I have discovered a whole network of overwhelmed parents! Love it. x
By the way I googled Litte Red Design – is that your work? How beautiful.
Onya Meg , a great boost for all those hard working mummy’s out there , I take my hat off to you all ., try to take time to smell the roses
Thanks Shane – good advice, smelling roses is something I have to work hard at.
Enjoying the reading here in Kansas, the weather is looking bad, belly bug not good, but all else is good.
Garry! We need you to come back. Everyday the children ask, “Is Garry Here?” Had almost 7 inches of rain in 3 hours two nights ago – no I’m not exaggerating. Enjoy the US.